Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
