Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
