operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
