I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
