Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
