We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
