You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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