My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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