Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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