i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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