So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
