But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
