So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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