thus making me awesome and them whores
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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