so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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