This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
