I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
