is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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