im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
