So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize