im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
