I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
