No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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