Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
