still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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