dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
