Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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