Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
