I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
