he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
