Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
