so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
