talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize