So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Im part way to drunk.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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