This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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