Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
