nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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