whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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