Is it because I queefed?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
