lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
