Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
