I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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