Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize