Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
