I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
