If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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