So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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