vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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