Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Randomize