I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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