im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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