this just has baby written all over it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
