In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
