drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
