i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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