I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
