So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
